You know that feeling when you’re watching a TV show and you start to wonder if it’s time to call it quits? Maybe the plotlines are getting repetitive, or you’re just not feeling the spark anymore. Well, sometimes therapy can be like that too, and that’s not a bad thing. 

A lot of people worry that ending therapy means they’re giving up or missing out on something. But as Grazel Garcia (of Grazel Garcia Psychotherapy & Associates) shares, therapy is really about getting you to a place where you can walk on your own two feet and feel comfortable just being you. 

Most of us don’t go into therapy thinking about the day we’ll walk out for good. We’re going to therapy for a reason, usually a big reason, and that’s all we’re focused on at the start. But believe it or not, the ultimate goal of therapy isn’t to keep you coming back forever, it’s to help you trust your own ability to navigate life’s wobbly bits. 

In other words, therapy isn’t about endless homework assignments or never-ending rehashing of your childhood. It’s about helping you become so comfortable in your own skin that you don’t feel like you need a weekly check-in to make sense of it all. 

And this isn’t just about clinical experience talking, there’s research to back it up. A 2019 study from the National Institutes of Health found that therapy is most effective when it helps clients gain a sense of mastery over their own emotions and decisions. That’s the moment you’re no longer just talking about feeling better, you’re living it in your authentic life, every day. 

Therapy isn’t meant to last forever. As comforting as it can be to have someone in your corner every week, the real magic of therapy is in helping you learn how to be your own biggest supporter. That’s the heart of what Grazel sees as her role: guiding you to a place where you feel solid on your own two feet. 

And once those goals are met, the conversation shifts to whether you even need therapy anymore. 

That might sound scary, but it’s actually a sign of how far you’ve come. It’s when you realize you have the tools you need to handle the tough stuff that life throws at you without needing to run back to the therapy room every time. 

Those tools are skills like setting healthy boundaries, being kinder to yourself, and recognizing when you’re slipping into old patterns. For some, it’s about learning to stand up to that “subjugated self” – the part of us that hides or bends to fit in because it’s too scary to be fully seen.  

So if you’re working with a therapist now, or thinking about starting, it’s worth knowing this: therapy isn’t getting you to feel better for the hour that you’re in the room and then leave you on your own for the next week. It should be helping you carry those changes out the door with you so you can keep growing, even when you’re on your own. 

So how do you know when you’re at that turning point when therapy shifts from something you need every week to something that’s more like a backup tool in your kit? Grazel says there isn’t a checklist, but there are some clear signs that show up when you’re starting to find your footing. 

Another sign you’re ready to go it alone is when you’re not taking things so personally all the time. Grazel talks about a technique called “mentalization,” which is really just a fancy way of saying you can see someone else’s perspective, even when you’re in the middle of a disagreement. That’s a skill that helps you not just in therapy, but in all your relationships. 

She also looks for signs that you’re letting go of old beliefs that used to hold you back. Are you still following old “rules” that don’t fit who you are anymore? Or have you started to rewrite the rules for yourself? That’s a sign of growth.  

You don’t have to be perfect or never feel lost again. But as you start to trust yourself to find your way back when you do, you’ll find you don’t need your therapist as much. And that’s what therapy aims to give you: the confidence that you can handle it alone. 

One of the more unexpected parts of therapy, especially in the later stages, is meeting the parts of yourself you’ve hidden away. Grazel calls this the “subjugated self,” meaning a part of you that might have been forced to stay quiet because of cultural, family, or societal pressures. It’s the version of you that says, “I’ll just keep the peace,” or “I’ll make myself smaller so others feel bigger.” Recognize that voice? 

The subjugated part of the self is the one that is repressed when threats come their way, and they’re not able to show that part because it’s not safe. This part of you learns early on how to keep quiet or stay invisible, especially if it’s been told over and over that it doesn’t fit in.

In therapy, bringing this part of you out of the shadows can be scary, but it’s really about making sure it’s heard and has a seat at the table. You need to give that part of you the safety and the curiosity that it needs to come forward, because if you’ve been living with only part of your story visible, you’re not really living as your full self. 

That’s why Grazel takes the time to explore not just your day-to-day worries, but those deeper patterns. She says:  

So it’s a gentle process of unmasking, not pushing. 

It’s also a process that takes into account your history, like the pressures you might have felt to put others first, or to hide certain parts of who you are. Grazel knows that for some people, especially those from marginalized backgrounds, this can be the most powerful and the most tender work of all. 

If you’re wondering whether there’s a part of you that’s still in hiding, that’s a question worth sitting with. And if you want help finding out what that part of you might need, Grazel’s here to offer that curious, open space.

Saying goodbye in therapy isn’t like shutting the door on a chapter you’ll never read again. It’s more like reaching the end of a really good book, one that’s left you feeling both a little sad it’s over and a whole lot stronger for having read it. 

For therapists like Grazel, the process of letting a client go can be an emotional juggle.  

That authenticity is meant to help you become more of who you already are underneath the worry, the stuck places, and the old patterns that might be holding you back. 

According to a 2022 report from the American Psychological Association, over 70% of therapy clients say they feel better equipped to handle challenges after therapy ends. That’s the result of a good therapist knowing when to nudge you forward and when to step back. 

So if you’re feeling like you’ve found your footing, or you’re just curious about what it might look like to “graduate” from therapy, let’s talk about it. Book a session and see how it feels to have someone who’s rooting for you, even as you step out on your own. 

When you’ve been in therapy for a while, it can be a little jarring to realize that the end might be closer than you thought. It’s like packing up at the end of a long, heartfelt conversation and thinking, “Wait, are we… done?” But ending therapy isn’t about slamming the door shut. It’s about knowing that you’re leaving with your pockets full of skills, self-understanding, and a lot more confidence in who you are. 

She doesn’t just give you a pat on the back and wave you out the door. Instead, she makes sure you’ve got a map for what comes next, reviewing what you’ve learned, and checking that you’re feeling as ready as she sees you to be. 

This planning process isn’t something that happens in a rush. In fact, Grazel says she’s reviewing your progress every six months or so.  

That sense of collaboration and review is key. You’re not just leaving therapy because someone else says you’re ready, you’re leaving because you feel it too. Grazel works with you to check that those skills are really yours, that they feel natural to use, and that you’re confident using them when things get rocky. 

This way, you’re not heading out of therapy feeling like you’ve been thrown in the deep end. You’re stepping out because you’ve got your own back. And if you ever want to come back for a check-in, that door’s always open. 

Saying goodbye to therapy isn’t like ending a friendship or quitting a job. It’s more like setting off on a hike you’ve been training for. You’re not leaving because something’s wrong, you’re stepping out because you’re strong enough and ready to go it alone. 

As Grazel put it so warmly: “I don’t think you need me anymore. You’ve got all the skills.” And that’s a beautiful thing to hear. 

Of course, no matter how ready you feel, it’s normal to have mixed feelings when it’s time to leave therapy. Maybe you’re a little nervous about losing that safe space, or maybe you’re excited to see how far you can go. Both are completely okay. The important thing is to remember that therapy was never about staying forever. It was about giving you the tools to trust yourself when you’re out there living your life, but you’ve reached that point now. And if you ever need to come back? That’s just part of the journey. Therapy will always be here when you’re ready.