So, you’ve booked the therapy session. Or maybe you’re thinking about it, but if you’re honest you’re nervous about being made to bare your deepest thoughts and fears to a complete stranger. 

It’s not that you don’t want help. You do. But the idea of sitting across from someone and saying those things out loud? That’s a different story. 

Maybe you’re worried you’ll say the wrong thing. Or nothing at all. Maybe you’ve got things inside you that you’ve never told anyone, not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re personal, and you don’t hand those things out lightly. 

If this sounds familiar, believe us, you’re not alone. At Grazel Garcia Psychotherapy & Associates, we work with people every day who feel like this: smart, thoughtful people who want support but aren’t sure how to open up. 

Let’s just say it: therapy can be weird when you’re not a natural talker. 

The idea of spilling your feelings to a stranger, even a kind, highly trained stranger, can feel about as appealing as public speaking. Naked. On live television. In front of your in-laws. 

Turns out, this is more common than you might have thought. Studies have found that 17% of therapy clients worry about being judged by their therapist, while 22% say they hesitate to speak because they “don’t know where to start.” 

But therapists expect this. In fact, noticing when a client hesitates is part of the job. 

Good therapy doesn’t push you past your pace. It joins you where you are and walks with you. It doesn’t lead, it follows. And quiet people aren’t “bad” therapy clients, they’re often some of the most thoughtful and insightful ones. 

You know that thing where you’re sitting on the therapy couch, trying to find the words, but your brain is moving like it’s wading through oatmeal? Yeah, your therapist notices that. 

And (great news!) they’re not judging you for it. 

In therapy, what doesn’t get said is just as important as what does. Therapists are trained to notice the shifts. The fidgeting, the change in tone, the long pause after a certain question. All those things that feel awkward to you? They’re actually helpful clues for the person sitting across from you. 

You don’t need to have a monologue prepared. And you don’t need to fill every silence. Sometimes, all you need to say is, “I’m having a hard time putting this into words.” That alone can open up a whole session. 

One of the biggest reasons people hesitate to open up in therapy? They’re not totally sure what’s safe to say and what might trigger a red flag. Let’s clear that up. 

Therapy is, by design, a private space. What you share stays in the room. Your therapist isn’t going to chat about your session at dinner or write about it in their memoir. Confidentiality is taken seriously, not just ethically, but legally. 

Still, there are a few very specific situations where a therapist has to break that confidentiality. It’s actually required by law in those instances. These are rare, but important to know: 

• If someone is in immediate danger (like a child, elder, or dependent adult) 
• If you’re at serious risk of harming yourself or someone else 
• If there’s mention of a specific plan to commit a violent crime 
• In very rare cases, when court-ordered 

Grazel also brings up the Tarasoff law, which means therapists have a legal duty to warn a person if there’s a credible threat against them. So, no, you can’t confess plans to plant a bomb and expect your therapist to smile and nod. 

But that said, most things you’re afraid to say are totally safe to say. Suicidal thoughts without a plan? Deep regrets? Past experiences you’ve never spoken out loud? Your therapist can hold those with care. 

And if you’re unsure about something you want to share, you can always ask first. Literally: “If I tell you something, will you have to report it?” That’s not weird. That’s smart. 

It might be comforting, or a little unnerving, to hear this, but therapists aren’t robots. They’re human. And sometimes, what you share in session hits a nerve for them too. 

Maybe you reveal something that makes them reflect on their own life. Maybe it stirs up a personal reaction.  Maybe they get triggered – it happens. But the good therapists don’t let it get in the way, they work on it themselves so it doesn’t become your problem. 

Therapists talk to other therapists. They go to their own therapy. They check themselves, not just once but continually, so they don’t let their stuff cloud your work. 

That’s the difference between a trained professional and, well, your aunt Carol who gives unsolicited life advice over brunch. 

And if you ever feel like your therapist isn’t doing that? You can leave. Really. You’re allowed to find someone who doesn’t just say they’re safe, but acts like it. 

Short answer: they should be. 

Most good therapists are also in individual therapy themselves because they recognize the value in working on themselves and having someone to talk to about their own stuff. Not because they’re secretly falling apart behind the scenes (although, like the rest of us, they’re human), but because it’s part of how they take care of their clients and themselves. 

That’s not just poetic, it’s a practical reality. Therapy can bring up intense, sometimes painful stories. If a therapist hasn’t faced their own stuff, they might not know how to handle yours. Or worse, they might subtly shift the focus away from you without realizing it, because something you said hit a nerve they haven’t explored yet. 

It might feel strange to imagine your therapist lying on a couch too, but the good ones are. Therapy isn’t something they just “give”, it’s something they believe in. If you’re thinking about starting therapy but worried about being “too much,” know that your therapist isn’t showing up perfect either. They’re showing up prepared and practicing what they offer.

If you’ve ever sat across from a therapist, heart pounding, mind racing, trying to decide whether to say that thing out loud, well, you’re in good company. Therapy is brave work. Sometimes quiet, sometimes messy, often awkward, and deeply human. 

That one line captures the heart of what makes therapy work. Not polished vulnerability, not perfect words, but honesty in whatever form you can offer it. A shrug. A silence. A “can we talk about something else?” 

And if your therapist is doing their job well, they’ll meet you right there. Not with judgment or pressure, but with presence. 

So if you’re scared to go deep, that’s okay. If you’re not ready to talk about the big stuff yet, that’s okay too. A good therapist will never rush your story. They’ll simply walk with you until the path feels safer. 

1. It’s normal to feel nervous or hesitant about opening up in therapy, especially for introverts or those unused to sharing personal thoughts.
   You don’t need to start with perfect words, just showing up is enough.
2. Therapists are trained to notice what isn’t said, not just what is.
   Body language, pauses, and shifts in tone all provide important information and are handled with care, not judgment.
3. Confidentiality in therapy is protected but not absolute.
   There are rare, legally mandated exceptions, such as threats of harm to oneself or others, or abuse of protected individuals, but most personal disclosures are completely safe and kept private.
4. Therapists are human and feel things too, but they’re trained to manage their own reactions.
   Through supervision, consultation, and ongoing self-reflection, they make sure their emotional responses don’t interfere with your session.
5. Good therapists are usually in therapy themselves.
   The depth of support they can offer you often matches how much work they’ve done on themselves. This is a professional standard, not a sign of personal failure on the therapist.
6. You can always ask your therapist questions about safety and confidentiality.
   If you’re unsure whether it’s okay to share something, just ask, there’s nothing wrong with checking first.
7. The most powerful thing you can say in therapy is often the simplest: “I’m having a hard time.”
   You don’t need to dive in headfirst. Therapy works when you’re honest about where you’re at, and a good therapist will respect your pace.