What is INTIMACY?
Intimacy is being close to someone emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, socially, and experientially. In short, intimacy is about sharing who you are with others. Being open to sharing your fears, your spiritual beliefs, thoughts and opinions, asking and talking about your sexual needs and desires, and engaging in activities socially and experientially with others.
Many of us, however, are very afraid of intimacy; and as a result, tend to isolate and feel very alone.
Here are some phrases that we say to ourselves when we get afraid of closeness or intimacy.
- I am scared to be close to others.
- No one is interested in me so why bother.
- I am afraid to be rejected.
- I don’t want to open up.
- I am scared to open up.
- I put walls up.
When these thoughts or fears come up, I encourage you to lean in closely to your fears by becoming more curious and interested about how these fears affect the way you relate with others. These fears could stand in the way of establishing and maintaining healthy relationships with others. It could be that you’re really wanting to be close to someone but so afraid that you don’t realize you’re pushing others away. This keeps you in a cycle of longing for love but pushing love away.